Friday, April 15, 2011

a quick errand

I'm finally sick.

Not the "I'm gonna lie in bed under my blankets and wait for death" sick, just the "I can't justify not working but I feel like crap" sick. Thankfully, because of some dear friends, my 14 hour shift today was reduced to a mere 6 hours, and I only had to run two quick errands on my way home.

I stopped at Trader Joe's in Kirkland to grab rice milk for the coffee stand, and threw some Luna bars into my basket on my way to check out. (Good healthy snacks for munching on during long work days).

Purely for the sake of entertainment, I shall now recreate my experience with the checker I encountered..

(Brigitte's in line at Trader Joe's. She's next to pay. When it's her turn, she puts her basket on the appropriate counter. Her eyes are puffy from sinus pressure, she has coffee stains on her new jeans, and her hair is escaping from the loosely tied ponytail at the nape of her neck. She looks like she needs a makeover, or some hot tea, or a dose of Nyquil. Obviously, this is not our heroine at her best.)

Brig (trying to be friendly even though she's longing for her bed): "Hey, how's it going?"
Checker: "Oh, you like hiking?"
(Brigitte looks around, confused)
Checker: "The Luna bars. You take them hiking, right?"
Brig: " I take them to work, to have as a snack when I'm too busy to eat."
(Checker smiles brightly. Then looks uncertain.)
Checker: " don't like hiking?"
(Brigitte doesn't know what to say to this, so she says nothing.)
Checker: "Sometimes I just feel like a cigarette!"
(Brigitte now notices the hot-pink bright smile may be a cover for a certain amount of medication. She tries again.)
Brig: "Yeah, you guys are really busy tonight! Is this normal for a Friday at this time?"
(Checker's smile falters. She again looks unsure, confused. Brigitte takes this opportunity to grab the receipt as it prints and take her grocery bag.)
Brig: "Thank you, have a good weekend..."
Checker (as Brig is starting to leave): "What are your girlfriends doing tonight?"
Brig: "Uh...I don't know...most of us are old and boring."
(Our heroine escapes the store, and barely makes it outside before she is caught up in a fit of hysterical laughter.)


Happy Friday! ...and watch out for the checker with the hot-pink lipstick.